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Clawing Free Page 11
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“I’m sure she would have brought them. You live right above the market,” he replied. The implication that Neil was at her place underscored his statement, but there was no derision in his tone.
“I needed a walk. Or at least I thought I did.” She forced a flat smile, indicating she knew she’d been wrong. “And this has been hard on them too. David was like their son. I’m just trying to help where I can.”
“I get it. Want me to walk you over?” His offer sounded like just that, but she recognized the authoritative hint to it.
“Do I have a choice?”
He glanced at the Land Rover as it pulled out and then back at her. “Nope.” He smiled.
Lissy found that she didn’t mind Logan’s company. At least it kept her from scrutinizing the world as she walked. She felt a little ridiculous now for her previous thoughts of doom and despair.
She found her mind drifting back to her conversation with Neil about how he knew Logan was no threat to their relationship. He was right. Logan seemed like he would make a loyal friend, but she would never think of him as anything more.
“What would you have done?” Logan asked as they turned the corner onto Windell Street, two blocks from Todd’s.
“I have no idea,” she said. “I was more than prepared to yell, but beyond that, I guess it all depended on whether or not they listened to me and left town.”
“Which they will.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” He smirked. “We closed the lake yesterday.”
She couldn’t help but be amused.
“I really do get it though,” he added. “I wanted to let ’em have it myself. But that would just make it worse.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean fear and anger go hand in hand.” He glanced at her, clearly gauging her response, and went on. “We get mad ’cause we’re afraid we can’t control things, can’t fix them. So, feeling inadequate, we lash out, furious at our own inability to change reality. In this case, our inability to make people stop being horrible—clambering to the lake to glimpse a killer.” He paused. “But the cycle doesn’t stop because we get mad and act out; it only perpetuates. We find something else we can’t control, lash out at that, so on and so forth. The best we can do is try to end the cycle.”
They rounded another corner.
“I guess. But shouldn’t we be angry at the injustice of it all? At the sheer fact we can’t control things?”
“Sure.” He smiled, then added, “Just don’t take out your righteous anger on undeserving bystanders.”
She nodded. “Right . . . then who?”
“Who do you take it out on? Nobody. I like to try to use it. You know, fuel the fire to get me goin’.”
“Okay, cowboy. But I don’t have that outlet. You have police work. You can make a difference. I’m a waitress. I have no platform and no way to influence change.
He mulled her words as they turned onto Todd’s street.
“You’re a waitress, yes. But as to whether or not you have a platform, that all depends on what you have to say. People follow passion, Lissy.”
Logan stopped at the end of Todd’s driveway.
“Think you can make it that far without knocking anyone’s teeth out?”
“I’ll do my best.”
“Okay. I’ll see you later.”
She waved and turned to walk up the driveway.
Inside the house, Yunjin was moving through the kitchen, grabbing various Tupperware containers in preparation to fill them with her lasagna.
She spoke with the accent of someone born in South Korea but who’d been far from home for many years.
“I’m sorry I don’t have this prepared already. I’m running a bit behind today.” She rolled her eyes and shook her head as if embodying the craziness of the day.
“It’s really no problem. I’m sure you’ve had a lot going on,” Lissy replied.
She’d known Yunjin almost as long as she’d known Neil. Todd and Yunjin had taken the brothers in when their parents died. Which meant, in being around Neil, you were sure to spend a lot of time with his aunt as well. Yunjin’s family had traveled to Colorado when she was still in school, and by the time Lissy was born, Todd had already fallen for her. This wasn’t surprising to Lissy at all. She’d only ever known Yunjin to be sweet, compassionate, intelligent, and without a spiteful bone in her body. On top of all that, even in her fifties, she was captivatingly beautiful.
“Would you like some tea while the pasta cools?”
Tea actually sounded amazing. She was exhausted, not to mention she’d be waiting regardless.
“Tea would be great.”
“You’ve got it,” Yunjin said and set about making the drink. She spoke over her shoulder as she retrieved a kettle and two mugs from the cabinet over the stove. “Make yourself comfortable, Elisabeth.”
Lissy sat on the long sofa in the living room just off the kitchen.
The couch was very nice, as was the rest of the furniture. As she sat there waiting, she felt an odd tranquility. Not in the fluffy sense of the word though; she simply felt at home, at rest. Come to think of it, she’d always felt that way around Neil’s aunt. She liked the feeling.
“You have a beautiful home,” Lissy said.
“Oh, thank you. I enjoy making house. I believe a peaceful home is something to strive for. And aside from who is in your home, what is in your home is the next thing to approach when looking to ascertain a particular feeling or mood.” She handed Lissy the tea and sat in the armchair across from her.
“I guess I’ve never really thought about it,” Lissy replied. She sipped the tea; it was some of the best she’d ever had. “This is amazing.”
Yunjin smiled. “It’s called saenggang-cha. It’s a popular ginger tea from Korea.”
“How are things at work?” Lissy asked, making conversation. Yunjin worked in the field of biomedical engineering, overseeing the maintenance of most of the equipment used in three major hospitals in the area.
“Good, work is good.”
They sat in awkward silence for a minute before Yunjin spoke again.
“How is Neil this afternoon?”
Lissy didn’t want to discuss anything about David’s death, but she knew Yunjin meant well.
“Honestly, I’m worried about him.”
“I suspected.” She leaned in. “He is a strong boy. But he has been through a lot. You both have.”
Lissy wasn’t sure how to respond. “We all have,” was all she could come up with.
Yunjin nodded. “Todd spoke with Jack last night.”
This intrigued Lissy. “About what?”
“Jack was worried that you or Neil were involved.” She shook her head. “Todd set him straight.” She smiled her warming smile, putting Lissy slightly more at ease.
“Good. They need to focus on actual possibilities, not waste time churning on Neil and I.”
As the words left her mouth, Lissy realized how spiteful it sounded. She wondered if that was how David’s family had felt eleven years earlier, when the police were solely focused on him.
“Yes. Yes, they do.” Yunjin shifted to the edge of her seat, closer to Lissy.
“How are you, Elisabeth?”
Lissy’s mind jumped to Melissa’s dead body and the visions. She was losing her mind, that’s how she was doing.
“I’m okay,” she lied.
Yunjin tilted her head. “Would you like to talk about it?”
She didn’t want to talk about it. She wanted to bury it. She wanted to run out of the room and all the way back to her apartment. But she recognized Yunjin truly meant only to help. So she stayed, wondering how long until the lasagna would be ready and if the delay had been in the plan all along.
“I think—” She paused, about to decline the invitation to express her feelings. But before she could stop, she said something that surprised even her. “If I’m telling the truth, I’m worried about myself too. I feel like I’m
cracking up.”
“I understand. You have been through a lot. And I am sure all this is bringing up unexpected feelings for you, as it has for all of us.”
Lissy thought of the black mass in her most recent vision. “You could say that.”
“Just know that Todd and I are here for you. Whatever you and Neil need, consider it done.”
“Thank you, Yunjin.” She meant it. She felt better even just being able to tell someone that she felt . . . off.
“Yunjin?” Lissy said.
“Yes?”
“What do you think is happening? To David, Melissa.”
“Honestly, I do not know.”
“I see . . .”
“But,” Yunjin continued, “in Korea, we have many myths.”
For the first time since entering the house, Lissy felt herself losing her calm. She hadn’t expected Yunjin to jump straight to folklore.
“Myths of evil monsters. Myths of evil spirits. Myths of men with evil hearts. However, they all have one thing in common.”
“What’s that?” Lissy tried to conceal her agitation.
“In all of the stories, the evil ones thrive on fear. You see, myth and legend are nothing more than perpetuated ideas given form via narrative. And myths of evil beings are perpetuated by those who fear that evil.”
“Are you saying some mythological evil is responsible for David’s death? I can’t—”
“No, no.” Yunjin shook her head. “I am saying that, whether man or beast, evil is to blame.”
Lissy grew angry. “That’s too easy. Just throw blame on the fact that some people are evil and move on.” She stood, prepared to walk out and abandon the conversation all together. “Someone needs to pay for this!”
Yunjin blushed. “I did not mean to anger you.” She lowered her head in apology. “I only meant to say that whether man or spirit, whoever committed this crime is evil. Not that that fact in any way excuses them for what they have done.”
Lissy was mortified at having lost her cool. “Sorry.” She sat back down. “Like I said, I’m cracking up.”
Yunjin smiled. “No need to apologize. It is also important for me to remember that not everyone was raised as I was.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well,” Yunjin explained, “in Korea, mythology is very much a part of life. It is part of the culture. To someone raised in the United States, monsters and spirits exist only in the media, man-made fabrications. Obviously, this differs by religion and upbringing. But in general, for Americans, what cannot be seen or felt must, therefore, be untrue. However, in Korea, belief in unseen beings is part of everyday life. Your grandmother may warn you to avoid certain buildings of which Gwisin—ghosts—inhabit. Or there are the Dokkaebi, Korean goblins, who are said to have great power and even interact with humans, granting our wishes or using their power to play tricks on us. We often heard tales of the rabbit on the moon, pounding rice into flour to create a heavenly rice cake. It is very different than here.”
“Are you saying you believe in monsters?”
Yunjin considered the question, her intelligent eyes gazing beyond Lissy momentarily.
“I am saying that I am more likely to believe in them than you are.”
“Do you believe a monster killed David?”
Lissy couldn’t believe she was even having this conversation, and with Yunjin of all people. She was one of the most perceptive people Lissy had ever known.
“I believe that it will not help either of us to speculate. But—whether man, animal, or something entirely different—whoever did this to my David has a dark and evil soul.”
16
August 25, 2019
As she approached the small office, Lissy could see Lee through the window, typing at his desk. Ganesh, the only other staff writer, sat catty-corner to him. He noticed Lissy coming and smiled.
Lee looked up as she entered. “Here’s trouble.”
“Hey, Lee,” she replied, feeling incredibly unnerved and already regretting the decision to drop in on him. It was a dumb idea. He was probably just going to laugh her off anyway.
He removed his glasses, laid them on the desk, and stood. “I don’t think you’ve visited my office in . . . ever. To what do I owe the pleasure?” He came around and sat on the front of his desk.
Lissy glanced at Ganesh and then back at Lee. “Well, there were a couple of things I wanted to ask you about. But it’s stupid. I should just—”
“Stop it. You have questions. I may have answers. There’s nothing stupid about it. Stupid would be coming all the way here to tell me you had stupid questions and then leaving.” He looked at her, reading her face. Then, without looking away, he said, “Ganesh, maybe you wanna grab an early lunch today?”
Ganesh was confused. “Lee, it’s ten-fort—”
“Take a break, Ganesh,” he interrupted flatly.
The reporter finally took the hint. “Yeah, sure.” He grabbed his jacket and phone and headed out, flashing Lissy an understanding smile as he exited.
“Sorry, wasn’t trying to throw you guys off,” Lissy said when they were alone.
“Eh, he was under my skin anyway,” Lee said nonchalantly. “What’s on your mind?” He sat in one of the two chairs facing the desk and gestured for her to do the same.
She sat and fidgeted awkwardly with the fraying sleeve on her jacket.
“I’m not sure how to get into this, so I’m just gonna do it.”
“I wonder if anything good has ever started with those words,” he replied, smirking.
Still toying with the sleeve, she began, “Have there . . . I mean, have you ever been under the impression that a murder was committed in Mitchum?”
In his typical fashion, Lee appeared unfazed by the question. “The last time I saw the police officially label a death a murder was eleven years ago.” He leaned forward, rubbing the stubble on his chin. “But you already knew that.”
“I did,” she said.
“You wanna know if I ever suspected more than I printed.”
“I do.”
He sighed. “I print the facts. I do my best not to hypothesize.”
“I know. But you’re not oblivious. I just want to know if you’ve ever doubted what Jack claimed as cause of death.
He didn’t flinch. “I mean, yeah. Couple times maybe.”
His tone indicated to her that he was holding back. Lee wasn’t one to gossip. In fact, it was hard to get him to talk at length about anything.
“What about Melissa? Do you think she jumped? Or that an oversized cat killed her?”
“What are you getting at?” His eyes narrowed.
“I’m getting at the fact that a cougar couldn’t have caused all of the wounds on Melissa’s body, and I do not believe she jumped off that cliff.”
He tilted his head, considering something.
“Okay . . . yeah. I have my doubts. I’ve had a lot of doubts over the years.”
His comment surprised her. “Really?”
“Listen . . . this doesn’t leave the room. Got it?”
She nodded.
“I don’t think Jack Porter would notice it if you or I were murdered by Clifford the Big Red Dog on Main Street while he ate lunch at Rose’s Diner. There’ve been nine jumpers at the bluff since your sister’s death, and seven of them had similar wounds to the ones you saw on Melissa Atwell.”
Lissy was stunned. “How do you know that?”
“It’s my job to know.”
“Why would Jack ignore this? Why didn’t they investigate?”
Lee paused, his forefinger on his lips as he thought. “I think he doesn’t know where to go with it.” He moved in closer, becoming more animated, as if her probing questions had unlocked his secret passion on the subject.
“Think about when Mia and her friends were killed. They even had the FBI at one point, and none of them had any friggin’ idea what to do with the deaths, no leads. David’s story was full of gaps. There wasn’t a sing
le trace of evidence, and after two weeks they’d already hit a complete dead end. So, what are they gonna do when it keeps happening?”
He wasn’t wrong. Lissy had a little trouble swallowing that the sheriff had ignored so many instances of obvious misconduct. But then again, Jack was proving to be one of the densest people she’d ever known.
“So, if you don’t think they’re jumping, what do you think is killing them?”
He shook his head, refusing to answer.
She pushed harder. “Lee, if it’s not suicide, what do you think it is? I need something to grab hold of. I feel like I’m drowning alone out here.” The vulnerability in her own expression surprised her.
He rubbed his head, displacing the thinning hair. “I don’t know.”
She began to protest, but he held up his hand, indicating he wasn’t finished.
“But,” he continued, “I don’t believe these murders are being committed by any man.”
She was beginning to feel like she might be the only person in Mitchum who didn’t believe in the Diamond Lake monster.
“Are you about to delve into old wives’ tales about giant birds, Lee? I thought you were—”
“Don’t be so hasty,” he cut her off. “Have you even considered the possibility that there may actually be something at that lake that can’t be explained in known scientific terms?”
“No. Because I—”
“Think before you speak, Lissy,” he interrupted again. “Why couldn’t there be something out there that you wouldn’t find in a textbook? There’ve been new creatures found before. We know for a fact that the ocean is full of animals that are yet to be cataloged. Heck, until a couple of years ago, giant squid were considered myth. That is, until they started washing up on beaches.” He stared hard into her eyes. “Now go ahead, tell me why there can’t be something out there we haven’t seen yet?”
She felt like she’d just attempted to drink from a fire hose. Lee had spoken so quickly that it took her a second to catch up. After a period of thought, she replied, “Because if it’s something unknown, then I never get resolution.”
“And why would something unknown prevent your resolution?”